Gluten Free Cinnamon Sugar Donuts

As per usual with growing tiny humans, my pregnancy has made me crave some not-so-healthy things. I'm not sure what that's about, but being much more health conscious with this little #4, I do my best to make my cravings as "clean" as possible.

I woke up on Saturday morning pining for donuts, but remembered I had some fun donut pans I had only used once or twice, and KNEW I could find a recipe that would settle my craving without leaving me with a belly ache afterward.

(Here are the donut pans I have! Wilton Nonstick Donut Pans )

I was really pumped that I had ALL of the ingredients in my pantry, lol (that usually doesn't happen, know what I mean?)

Some of these ingredients might be new to you, but they have become total staples in my house. If you aren't sure where to find some of them, your local healthful store will definitely have them. But I've been really impressed by our local grocery store and even Target for starting to carry a lot of these!

All in all, these were a WIN with my family. Kids loved them, the flour I used made them super fluffy and cake-like (versus grainy like some gluten free baked goods can seem), and will definitely be made again! ENJOY!

INGREDIENTS

Doughnuts:

• 1/4 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
• 1/4 cup coconut oil
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1/3 cup brown sugar (I used coconut palm sugar)
• 2 large eggs
• 1 1/2 tsp. vanilla
• 11 1/4 oz. (about 2 2/3 cups) all-purpose gluten-free flour (I used Bob's Red Mill gluten free flour)
• 1/2 tsp. xanthan gum (omit if your flour blend has xanthan gum already in it- Bob's Red Mill already has it)
• 1 1/2 tsp. baking powder
• 1/4 tsp. baking soda
• 3/4 tsp. to 1 tsp. ground nutmeg
• 2 tsp. ground cinnamon
• 3/4 tsp. salt
• 1 cup almond milk

Topping:

• 5 Tablespoons salted butter, melted
• 1 1/2 Tablespoons cinnamon
• 1/2 cup sugar

INSTRUCTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 425°. Spray mini doughnut pan with non-stick cooking oil spray.
2. In the bowl of your electric mixer, cream together the butter, oil, and sugars until smooth.
3. Add the eggs and vanilla, beating until smooth.
4. In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, xanthan gum, baking powder, baking soda, nutmeg, cinnamon, and salt.
5. Alternate adding the flour mixture and the milk to the butter mixture, beginning and ending with the flour. Mix on low just until everything is thoroughly combined.
6. Scoop the batter into a gallon-size Ziploc bag and seal tightly. Use scissors to snip off a bottom corner. Squeeze the batter out of the opening into the cavities of the doughnut pan, filling until almost flush with the top of the cavities
7. Bake at 425° for 7 minutes or until they are a pale, golden brown, and a toothpick inserted in a doughnut comes out clean.
8. Remove from the oven and let cool in the pan for 2-3 minutes. Turn the pan over to turn doughnuts out onto a cooling rack.
9. Repeat with remaining batter, spraying pan again with cooking spray between batches. Makes 4 dozen.
10. While doughnuts are cooling, make the topping.

Topping:

1. Melt the butter in a small bowl.
2. In another small bowl, whisk together the cinnamon and sugar.
3. Take each cooled doughnut, dunk the top half in the butter, then in the cinnamon-sugar mixture to coat. Place on rack or tray to set. Enjoy!
4. These can be stored in an airtight container at room temperature for 2-3 days.

We're... What?

Right when you think you've figured it all out, and have the next steps in life perfectly mapped... that's usually when it's just about to flip itself upside on you.

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At least that's been the track record during most of my 31 years.

I should know by now that thinking I've got it all figured out is just preparation for a massive life change.

When we came home from our perfect week away with the kids at my family's cabin in Wisconsin, it felt like just that- getting back to a routine that felt familiar and predictable (in the best way possible).

We had spend most of the Summer traveling, which had been wonderful therapy during a time of recovery after the very sudden passing of my younger brother.

Matt and I had our first week-long (non work-related) vacation together, sans children, on a cruise to Alaska with dear friends a couple weeks prior to our annual family Wisconsin trip. And it was the first time we felt like, 'Okay, this is life now. We're in that season of raising children where there's a bit of freedom and room for alone time.'

It felt really good to be there.

We had worked, and sacrificed for years to build our business, and create the HOME and lifestyle that we had visualized for so long.

We were ready to enjoy that.

-----------

I wasn't paying much attention.

After my brother Cory's death, I knew stress and depression had taken a toll on my body. So when I was "late", I chalked it up to the fact that my body was just really thrown off.

There was NEVER a time that I thought, 'Could I be pregnant?'

Matt and I took precautions, and were ALWAYS careful, so in my mind there was just no way.

But after a couple weeks of traveling with an unopened box of tampons, and wondering what in the world was going on, I figured I should just take a test. I knew it would be negative (because again, there was NO way it was possible), but that it would just be confirmation to me that, in fact, my hormones were really off, and I should make an appointment with my naturopath to try to regulate my cycle.

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We got home from Wisconsin late on Sunday the 17th of July, and woke up the next morning to an empty fridge.

Matt was about to head out to the store to pick up eggs and some other essentials, and just as he was leaving I told him to pick up a pregnancy test too, just to rule it out. He rolled his eyes, fully reciprocating the same feelings I had that, because we were always cautious, there was no way.

When he got home, I grabbed a test and went to take it right away.

I looked away for a brief moment after taking the test, and when I looked back... it was already positive.

A lump in my throat immediately formed, and I called for Matt.

I couldn't get any words out, but just signaled him to look at the bold positive on that First Response.

I don't really remember any words being exchanged in those first moments, but I know that both of our faces showed the uncertainty that was suddenly very real in our lives.

I went to a chair at my kitchen table, and started to cry.

It was a mix of fear, shock, and if I'm being completely honest... a little sadness.

I had my life completely figured out. Our kids were older, and all in school. We were enjoying our sleep, our freedom, our simplicity, our routine... all of it. And then to suddenly have that all go out the window did honestly knock the wind out of me a little bit.

And not to mention the fear I felt about how my body would be capable of carrying a pregnancy now. Just shy of two years ago, I had undergone complete abdominal repair after three back-to-back pregnancies. Would my tummy even have the ability to STRETCH again after being pulled so tight?

I was terrified.

The whirlwind of emotions were quickly followed by a strong maternal instinct.

Was this baby okay? I've never NOT known I was pregnant right away, so how could I have missed this? And HOW far along was I even?

I couldn't remember the date of my last period, and kicked myself for not tracking better.

I got on the phone right away.

I called the OBGYN's office that I went to during my pregnancy with Q, and made an appointment immediately. And then I called my plastic surgeon's office for guidance and calming. (They were wonderful, by the way, and assured me that this happens more often than I'd believe. AND that my baby and I would be just fine).

Monday July 18th was a FULL, emotionally exhausting day, to say the least.

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I hardly slept during those next few days leading up to my first appointment.

I woke up EVERY night (day?) between 2 and 3am in full blown panic/anxiety attacks, and couldn't fall back to sleep until around 6am.

My heart had started welcoming this new little being in already, but my head was having a hard time wrapping itself around everything.

I worried for myself physically.

Pregnancy had proven to be pretty tough on my body in the past, and I wondered how I'd handle it this time.

---------

And then somehow all the weight from my shoulders went away when I saw that blinking little heart during my first ultrasound.

Surprise Baby C, at almost 7 weeks!

There he was. 

This perfect little blob of a baby growing just fine, despite my complete lack of awareness of his existence in my belly.

All the fear, and doubt, and uncertainty about what *I* thought was "supposed" to happen... disappeared.

Were we ready? NOPE. But I knew that this little one was here for a reason. 

He had already beat a lot of odds and statistics to be here, lol, so we knew this one must be a special one.

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I still have to laugh a little bit to myself about it all.

How we can be so set and certain, and then in one moment... life is changed.

This has been a year of change, this is for sure.

Cory's death taught me that life can be taken in the blink of an eye. That there isn't a second to spare here in this lifetime. 

And this little baby has taught me that not only do we not have a second to spare here, we also don't have a second to spare on fear of the unknown. 

Because what happens in this life, happens FOR US. And sometimes we have to spend a lifetime figuring out what those reasons are, but they're always there.

And mostly... that life can break your heart, and leave you in pieces. But that it can also renew you, and show you new meaning. Sometimes it's the next day, sometimes it's years, and sometimes it's almost exactly two months later (in my case). But the good is coming. There's always good again. 

I know this baby is here to show us that.

Here's to the start of a brand new journey, that we didn't plan and already love. ;-)