Shine On, You.: Bowen's Birth Story

My due date of March 12th came and went, and I was met with the emotions I knew were coming. My body ached, and literally could not stretch a single millimeter more, and there I was- STILL PREGNANT. Now, don't get me wrong, I made space in each day to feel absolutely grateful for the life I was so blessed to carry in my belly. But if you've ever gone passed your due date in pregnancy, you know the complete roller coaster of feelings, going from blissfully happy to borderline homicidal, within seconds. And with Bowen being my fourth baby, I was not the only one surprised by the fact that I hadn't delivered yet. So we waited.

The hours felt like days, and the days felt like they were a hundred years long.

Monday and Tuesday dragged on, but having the kids home for Spring Break was a welcome distraction. I spent most of the time lounging around the house in the only sweats that still fit me, but looked excitedly forward to Wednesday, when I was set to have a membrane sweep with my midwife Jamie. On Tuesday night we blasted music in the family room, and danced around with the kids to try and get labor going. I brought all my best moves, but Bowen still wasn't budging.

I woke up Wednesday morning just KNOWING that would be my day. Midwife Jamie and I had discussed how much the membrane sweep would probably help get my body going, so I had it set in my head that if I could just make it to that day, THAT would be when I'd have Bowen. I showered, styled my hair, put on a little makeup, got some things organized in our bedroom in preparation for the birth, and while I joyfully skipped around the bathroom, I got a text from Jamie. She explained that two mamas, about a week further along than I was (God bless them) were both in early labor at the birth center, and because I was not at the point where we NEEDED to get things moving, I needed to just hang tight another day or two. Of course to me, that was complete and utter devastation. I'm not going to lie, I cried. No actually, I BAWLED. I curled up on my bed, and cried, and decided I would, in fact, be pregnant for the rest of my life. The rest of the day was basically a wash, and I just let myself feel all the feelings, and watch all the "Call The Midwife" on Netflix.

On Thursday, Matt forced me out of the house, and we took the kids to see the new Lego Movie. I went to the bathroom like 12 times, and fidgeted through the whole movie with restless leg syndrome, but doing something fun with the kids during their break made me feel like not a complete failure that week. We stopped at the chiropractor for an adjustment for me, and I also had another acupuncture session. The combination of the two, I was SURE would help get some contractions going, but I got a full night of restful sleep instead. Not the worst trade, but I was still pregnant.

Friday brought the light at the end of the tunnel. Jamie texted me and offered me a 10:30am appointment to have a membrane sweep! I was SO happy. I knew my body was ready, but just needed a little coaxing. Of course a membrane sweep is never a sure thing. With Parker, I went into labor within a day of having a sweep done, and with Quinn, I had two done to no avail. You just never know. AND it really depends on the doctor or midwife who does it. Jamie assured me that she had magic little ninja fingers though, so this would for sure get things going.

If you've never had a membrane sweep, imagine a pap smear (without the speculum), and a finger instead of a cotton swab. So yeah, not super comfy, and lots of pressure, but this is the perfect time to start practicing that deep breathing and visualization you'll use during labor ;-)

We hadn't checked my cervix until then, and I was AGAIN surprised to find out that although my cervix was soft and ripening nicely, I was only about a centimeter dilated. With Quinn, my 3rd, I was walking around for 3 weeks at 3-4 cm dilated. So again, total conundrum, and more proof that each pregnancy is unique!

I had some spotting and cramping immediately after, but nothing crazy. As I was checking out at the front, I asked Jamie if there was anything else I could do to help my body get going. She suggested a very SMALL amount of castor oil (disclaimer: do not take without consulting with your medical provider first). I had always heard that CO was "bad", and was always too scared to try it. But Jamie's tips put my mind at ease. We decided that I should get a good night of sleep first and if I still hadn't gone into labor, then I could try the CO that next morning. So I left the birth center, stopped for a pedicure with some extra massaging on the pressure points in my ankles, and then headed home for the night.

I was definitely feeling things getting going, but no real contractions at that point. I had my first bit of bloody show and lost a little mucus plug, and I felt those lovely lightening bolts of pain in my cervix that let me know dilation was starting. I slept decent that night, and woke up to a lot of the same- some light spotting and cramping, but no big changes. I decided that after a good healthy breakfast, that I'd take my first little bit of castor oil. I had a tbsp in 8 oz of orange juice. It was not tasty, and the oily texture was the worst part. Jamie suggested eating almonds after, to help keep my stomach settled. It seemed to work well, as I didn't feel any kind of nausea or discomfort at all. I figured then would be a good time to shower, and just get ready for the day.

If I'm being honest, I went into that day with the decision that THAT was the day I'd have my baby. I was laser focused on just getting myself ready. I think my body just knew too because I felt SUPER tired that day. I had everything ready in our room and bathroom, our home birth kit ready to go, the mattress was lined with plastic painters tarps, and 2 fitted sheets, and we had friends and family on standby with the action plan. After my shower, I texted Jamie to let her know I was going to take my 2nd dose of castor oil. Matt decided to take the kids to Dave & Buster's to get them out of the house for a bit. So after I downed the CO, I still felt comfortable, so I laid down with my "labor playlist" going (lots of meditation and worship music), which I had practiced my visualization and relaxation techniques to for the last couple of months, and I was immediately in a sleepy trance.

After a couple hours, I was awakened by what I knew were my first couple contractions. I decided I shouldn't move and jinx anything, so I grabbed my phone and started timing things just to see if there was any kind of pattern. After about 30 minutes of a decent pattern, I texted Matt and told him he should start rounding the kids up to come home and get ready to go to our friends Courtney and Steve's house for the night.

Matt got home within the next 30 minutes, and got the kids packed up to go, and coordinated with Courtney to come pick the kids up and take them for the night.

I let a little more time pass before I really let myself believe it was "time". It's a funny thing when it happens because there's so much build up and mystery, and then when it finally comes time, it doesn't feel all the way real. But there was no denying the pattern of my contractions, and the strength building behind them. I knew that things would just get more intense and the night went on, so I sent texts to my sister and my parents, a few close friends, and our amazing photographer friend, Ashley (who would be joining us as our birth photographer) and had Matt send texts to his parents too. Once I was sure, I texted Jamie to let her know. She asked if I was ready for the birth team, and I told her I'd text her again in 30 minutes. I wanted to do everything I could to relax my body in case this was a false alarm. So Matt got our bathtub ready for me, and even after soaking for 20-30 minutes, the contractions kept on coming. I texted Jamie back and told her we were ready.

When Jamie and Sarah, the assistant midwife, both arrived, I was still in the tub. Jamie checked Bowen's heart rate right away to get a little monitoring started. He sounded great, so they set up shop in our room and bathroom. Everything from herbs and first aid supplies, to oxygen and medical supplies, laid out strategically through our "birth suite". Jamie came back to the tub and asked if I wanted to have my cervix checked, just to see where we were at. I said yes, because I'm just the type who likes to know where she's at, and what needs to happen to get to the goal.

3 centimeters. Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I thought FOR SURE I would be further along by that point, judging by how long my contractions had been nice and consistent. She suggested I get out of the tub and get upright. Walking around and squatting on my yoga ball would help gravity come into play, and get the weight of Bowen pushing down more on my cervix. Jamie and Sarah decided that since I was still pretty early in the labor process, they'd run to Walgreen's to grab a few extra supplies, and left us with the instructions to keep walking around.

Matt and I stayed upstairs the whole time. I think I did like 1100 laps around our loft, back into our room, and around again. I took a pitstop to pee a couple times, and had some more bloody show, but all very normal for this point in the game. I could feel my body ramping up from the walking, and knew I was shifting into the next stage of labor.

When Jamie and Sarah returned, I knew Jamie could sense that the energy in the room had shifted, and my labor was getting more serious. She checked my cervix again, and I had gotten to 6 cm. With that good news, I felt like I wanted to soak in the tub again, and get myself a little more centered and comfortable before the next big shift came. After an hour of soaking, we decided to walk some more. Matt helped me from the tub, into my robe, and we walked briefly.

I got a couple really intense contractions, and needed to lean on the stairway bannister to get my bearings and breathe. And after a few minutes of powering through, I felt the room start to close in on me, and I got uncomfortably hot and nauseous. I knew I was going to be sick, and moved as fast as I could toward the bathroom. Jamie met me just in time with a big bowl, and caught my vomit like the amazing support system she is. Vomiting brought some very slight relief, but we all knew things were getting serious and I was knee deep in the transition stage of labor, which meant that I was probably around 7-8 cm. After brushing my teeth, and getting cleaned up, we moved to the bed.

Laying in my own bed during labor felt amazing. But I was HOT from transitioning, and struggled to get comfortable. Matt got the diffuser going with some lavender essential oil, and got my labor playlist moved from the bathroom into the bedroom. Between contractions, I fiddled with the Apple TV, trying to get my playlist to play on the tv instead of my phone, but kept getting interrupted by deep, painful contractions. Each time a contraction would come, time would stop. I focused 100% on my breath and my visualization and my prayer.

The minutes stretched on and became hours, and I was having trouble keeping my focus. The pain was building, and as we rolled into midnight, I was growing tired. I needed to move, so I did a lap or two around the loft again, and returned back to bed near tears. When the pain and exhaustion collide, it's so easy to lose focus, and I knew that's what was happening to me. Jamie checked my cervix again on the bed and we discovered I had reached 9ish cm, but one little half of a ring of my cervix was hanging on, and not allowing Bowen's head to come down straight. I will never forget Jamie's little hand just resting on my leg during my moments of breakdown. Without words, it was like she was saying, "It's okay. I'm here, and you've got this."

I asked Jamie, halfway hoping she'd just do it, if she ever manually breaks the water bag. I knew that would put me over the edge, and get this baby to come down. But she presented reasons why it could help, and reasons why it could also make things a lot more intense if it didn't break when it was just ready. Jamie got up to give me a minute of space, and a loud POP filled the room. My water had heard my pleas, and decided to break on its own. I said, "Um, my water broke!" As if they had not already guessed that. I'm not sure there had been a more exciting moment all night.

We sort of felt out the next few minutes. We knew it was getting super close to showtime, but since I didn't have the urge to push yet, we waited. And before I knew it, I was complete at 10cm.

Jamie mentioned that if I wanted that water birth I had talked about, we better get into the water. So Matt and Sarah got the tub filled, and all of our towels ready. They came to get me, and helped me walk very slowly from the bed to the tub.

Our candles were still lit, and the glow in our bathroom at 2:40something AM was truly a sight to see. I curled up to the edge of the tub, and leaned on the side for what felt like hours. It's normal for labor to come to a quiet lull at this point. Some women "lull" for minutes, and some for longer. I instinctively just knew to wait. I could feel Bowen moving down, and felt a good contraction that let me know it was time to start pushing. I moved from the back of the tub up to the front, and took to my knees while I sort of held my upper body over the front edge. I gripped the side, and felt the power of my body taking over. I gave a couple big pushes, and could feel him starting to crown. That burning fire pain you can't imagine again until you're bringing that next life into the world, and then you remember how incredible and excruciating womanhood is.

I reached down, and felt the top of his head in the palm of my hand, and exclaimed, "I feel his head!"

With one giant contraction and one roaring, massive push, his head was out, and one more good push shot Bowen out behind me. And in the most perfectly imperfect, unrehearsed, raw and wonderful exchange, Jamie caught Bowen behind me, and I flipped around to grab him from her. It was so fast, but I still instinctively knew to be careful of the umbilical cord that was now loosely wrapped behind my leg, as I laid back into the tub with my new most precious gift on my chest. We carefully fished my leg back through the cord to free it, and let it continue to pulse until it was fully empty.

He was finally here. Born at 2:52am on March 19, 2017.

The girls all asked what his name was, and we told them "Bowen Woods" with giant smiles on our faces. I was finally sitting with this warm, squishy angel, and life suddenly made so much more sense. I didn't cry when Bowen was born. I'm not sure what that means. Maybe it means nothing. I just felt this overwhelming calm. Like, "Hey, there you are." And I kept saying, "Hi, Baby. Hi, my sweet baby."

After Matt cut the cord, I delivered the placenta without any complications. And despite what seemed like quite a bit of blood loss during the birth, Bowen's and my vitals looked just perfect.

Once I was ready, I handed Bowen off to Matt for some Daddy snuggles, and Jamie and Sarah helped me out of my soiled sports bra, and back into my dry robe, and very attractive postpartum undergarment (read: diaper pad and mesh undies). Yes, you still wear those after a home birth ;-). We walked slowly back to bed, and got me all situated. Matt brought Bowen over so we could get his stats. A whopping 9 lbs even and 21 inches. I guess when you get an extra week to cook, you get lots of plumping done! Bowen latched perfectly, and started his first feed about 30 minutes after he was born. It was such a joy to breastfeed again, and also so surreal. What a blessing to have such a sweet second (or 4th) chance.

Once we were settled and comfortable, Jamie checked me, and discovered that I had had quite a bit of tearing. I wasn't all that surprised because I knew I had pushed probably a little harder than I needed to, since my body was doing a lot of the work, and Bowen's head wasn't exactly small (neither was the rest of him). Jamie stitched me up, after a little shot of local pain relief. The tearing made my recovery quite a bit more difficult, since there is a lot of extra care that has to be taken with each trip to the potty and such. The first week or so was not exactly fun, but we made it through.

Once Jamie, Sarah, and Ashley were all packed up, they headed home around 4am.

Jamie left us with instructions to SLEEP as soon as Bowen took his first "big nap" (the long sleep most babies take within a couple hours of their birth). Matt obliged happily, but I was on a high, and could hardly take my eyes off of this new bundle in my arms.